Dear Microsoft,



On 21 July 1995 you sent me a letter that began: "Anything is possible"

and then went on to exult about the immanent release of Windoze 95,

Microskunk Orifice, and the essential Muckrosoft Pus which together

will permit me to "experience the future of computing."

As a PS, you trumpet that Lose 95 will also "open up the information

superhighway too, with Microsux Nyetwork."



All this for the trifling price of $159 + $499 +$69 = $727.





Well. I hardly know what to say. Your selfless generosity and wisdom

in making this offer is truly humbling. So now is probably a good

time to post this:-



    Microsoft and Bill Gates, you are a pack of evil farts.

    Your software is fecal, and your attitude sucks like a

    singularity. "The future of computing"? Hah! What you

    know about that would fit in one of your ridiculous

    memory paragraphs.



    Nothing I can conceive of would induce me to install

    Lose 95 on my hardware. The next operating system change

    I do will be to whatever the next _real_ advance in

    software is, and I'm positive it won't be from you.



    Do you seriously believe I'd connect my machine, running

    _your OS, and _your network software, through _your network,

    to _your net servers, in _your country (the USA)?

    That would certainly 'open up the information highway' to

    me all right; and to everything else on my machine too.

    Maybe I should just send you some disks in the mail with

    all my personal files and code. That would definately

    be simpler, and cost me a lot less - just the postage,

    if you ignore the little matter of independence from vast

    monopolistic, megalomaniac multi-national corporations.



    So basicly, Dear Microsoft, you can go jump. I hope you

    find a use for the brick I'm sending you with your reply

    paid envelope. Possibly if you get enough of them you can

    build yourself a nice mausoleum.





Oh, and another thing. In a piece of bumpf that came with the letter,

there is this interesting bit of flummery:-



  "A world, some 40 thousand kilometers in circumference, circles

  its sun in a perfect sweep that takes 24 hours, precisely.

  An idea, as simple and as complex as freedom, excites and inspires

  nations and individuals alike. Cyberspace, once a surreal concept,

  has now become a reality. When you open your mind to it - anything,

  everything, is possible."



Presumably, this refers to our Earth? If so, Microsoft, you appear to

know as little about astronomy as you do about the future of computing.

No, the Earth does not circle the Sun in one day. It actually takes

a year. And not _precisely_ a year, either.

How about the idea of freedom from Microsoft? I find that pretty exciting.

Cyberspace was a 'surreal' concept? In whose dreams? I thought it was

just a neat Sci-Fi idea, if I recall correctly. Nor is it quite a reality

yet. As for 'opening minds to it' making anything possible, how about

secure public key encryption, freedom of information and expression,

direct electronic democracy, and the development of socially important

software (like operating systems) by co-operative groups of shareware

authors? Or do you just mean any amount of profits you care to name?





  Guy Dunphy

  Confucius say: (c) copyright by Confucius.