File: 007_BILL.TXT            Guy Dunphy              1/1/1998



               Tomorrow Never Dies - but Bill does!



Yesterday I went to see the new James Bond movie 'Tomorrow Never Dies'.

Sitting there with my 8 year old son, enjoying a bit of good 'ol ultra-

mayhem, I began to notice a few details that were adding up to more than

just another guns, spies and sexy women thriller.



It starts out perfectly normally - for a 007 movie, that is. There is the

obligatory opening scene of military excess and Bondian balls. All fine

pure escapism, yeeeha! Then with a bit of plot origami, events unfold to

reveal (surprise!) the evil villian behind the fiendish plan to [destroy/

control/blackmail/corrupt] (pick one) the world. In this case, the villian

is out for control, in the sense of achieving total world domination of

the TV news media. Specificly, a world wide television 'news' monopoly.

Now where have I heard that plot before? Oh yes I remember now- in real life.



OK, so the producers allowed a trace of reality into the fantasy.

Good for them, I thought. On with the show.



The next thing that really struck me was something an evil henchman said

to his evil leader, about the expansion of their evil global news web:

"We've released the software; as you requested, its full of bugs. People

will be buying upgrades for years!"



All right. I may be pretty dumb, and slow on the uptake. But put together

'network', 'domination', 'buggy software', 'upgrades forever', and a

megalomaniac, amoral, ultra- rich leader, and even I don't need subtitles

saying "Microsoft Internet Explorer" or 'Web-TV' to get it. So about then

I started paying attention to the burried hints. Of which there a quite a

few, if you look.



Take for instance the man's name. Carver. As in, 'carves up the opposition'.

Then there's the logo for the Carver Network: A capital C, perfectly round,

with a sort of 3D commet trail around the outside. Remarkably similar to

the MS Internet Explorer symbol, in fact.

Carver's modus operandi in his bid for world domination is to play off other

parties against each other via murderous trickery, and then profit from his

lead on the resulting 'news'. He nearly manages to start WW3 in the process,

which is a bit more extreme than browser wars, but still... Also, Carver's

making up news before it happens reminds me of Microsoft vapourware.

Then there is the fact that MS really is trying to become a dominant force

in the worldwide media, especially in the news area. With Bill's money, the

technique is generally to buy out the opposition, and games with cruise

missiles have generally not been his style (so far). But you never know.

I wouldn't put anything past him. Whats _really_ in all that underground

space in his new home? Maybe the UN weapons inspection teams that Saddam

won't let into his palaces, should drop round to Bill's place while they're

waiting?



In another scene, after a setback in Carver's plans, his wife says "Never

mind, these things happen." He says "Not to _me_, they don't!" Spoilt brat

for CEO, anyone? Poor loser? Temper tantrums? Taking out his spite on

blameless and well meaning employees? Remind you of anyone? There's even

a vague facial resemblance between Carver, and Bill Gates. As well as

a slightly unkempt appearance.



Well, it made for a very enjoyable couple of hours, especially with the

anticipation. It's a 007 movie after all, not some wimpy Power Rangers or

cartoon for little kids. You know there won't be any politically correct

'foil the plot but leave the bad guys alive so they can reform' bullshit.

(This always struck me as incredibly inane, verging on programming the

young into becoming acquiescent pawns of the world's real power holders.)

In a 007 movie, the only question is when and how the villian(s) will

meet their gory end.



Should I tell you? No, I won't spoil the suspense. But imagining I was

watching Bill get his sure enhanced the experience. Talk about being chewed

and swallowed (as many a previous MS competitor could tell you about.)



In real life, the difficult questions are usually more to do with working

out who is really your enemy, and how to bring them to justice. There's the

one good thing about Microsoft and Bill Gates - at least they simplify the

issues. A clear and present danger - thats Microsoft alright.



In the very last scene, Bond's superiors prepare the next day's headlines

explaining the death of Carver. He is said to have committed suicide.



Go on, Bill. Do us all a favour.



                 -------------------------------

   This article is Copyright 1998 by Guy Dunphy, and distribution is

   allowed subject to The Microsoft General Exclusion Licence, online

   at http://www.zip.com.au/~guyd/smash_ms/ms_stop.htm